No Bean Flicking on Borrowed Couches

There will come a time on your road to being the best you, when you will need to sleep on a friend’s couch. I’ve gone through at least two long periods of transition where this was the case. Between jobs, lovers and leases, I needed the help of a friend who had a spare surface for me to crash on.

Photo Credit: Ruffled Blog

It is important to be able to ask for this help, because there is a light on the other side, but you need to have all your energy and focus free to get there. Having one less thing to worry about (RE: rent or avoiding the return to your parents’ house) is essential.

Now, just because you’re in transition and a temporary guest in someone else’s home, does not mean the urge for privacy will not arise. Having a little “schwing” in your step is a very good sign that your energy and spirit are ripe for embarking on your new beginning and making something wonderful out of it. But darling, as the self-appointed Emily Post of transition, I must allude to rule number one of staying with friends: No bean flicking on borrowed couches!

Someday soon, you will be coming into your own again. You will get back to privacy and four of your very own walls to muffle the sweet sounds of your private ecstasy.

Trust me, you will get there again.

For now, however, you must refrain from sliding that expert hand under the clean linens your pal so kindly folded on the couch for you upon your unexpected arrival.

One way to mentally prepare for such a period is to pack away your toys in a box under guard of extra duct tape far away where you can’t get to them. Your suitcase is a fun free zone, I’m afraid.

In some ways, missing out on teasing the tuna acts as a very tasty carrot to motivate your speedy transition. I know, for me, getting back into my groove really put a fire under me to pour over job applications, flood the market with my resume and drop ‘em dead at interviews. I’d leave CEOs thinking, “That girl has really got something. She’s hungry. She’s aching to achieve!”

Now ladybits, I am by no means an advocate for self-repression. I want you to want you. This is good and healthy, but we’ve got to show our gratitude to our hostesses and put them before ourselves when it comes to this.

Should you and what God gave you decide enough is enough... check to make sure you have the place to yourself and hop in the shower. A good girlfriend would understand the need and appreciate your consideration for the upholstery.

Oh, and, speaking from recent tragic experience, avoid watching that marvelous Ryan Gosling scene in Crazy, Stupid, Love. It will only add to conflict in the Deep South. Really, don't watch the following without privacy.

Above all, know that I have been there, as have so many other young women in transition. You and you will know love again.

You’ve just gotta trust me on this one.